How to grow a chav.

For all those who are like me and are getting slowly sick of sterotypes i am getting it all out of my system with this seris of blogs on how such "scenes" come to part. This is the first and easyist and i will try to limit myself so i dont have to stick another warning label on.

A boy is born. He is brought home to his house where he is bottle fed. His dad earns a small income at a long hour job or is missing altogether either way he plays very little in the childs developement. There house is no shangra la and is often untidy due to the mothers lack of interest or time to tidy it. The baby is such a culture shock to the mother that she is emotionaly exausted by its need for attention. This allows her to justify ignoring and neglecting it more when it grows into a younge boy.

This younge boy starts to find ways to occupy himself however he is often not intelligent (geneticly as this is before education) to do this sucessfuly. However he learns very quickly that mums attention is easy begotten by acts of misbehavoir. Suddenly when he is bad life is about him again and his mother notices him.

First year of school starts strangly. He doesnt immediatly take to bieng bad for attention but instead trys hard at work. He finds that work is difficult and he isnt bieng noticed by the teacher (who has now taken the dominate role in his life) for his grades and marks. This again is where he discovers that pratting around and misbehaving not only gets the attention of the main authority figure but also attracts the attention and amusement of some students.

This is really the basic and the start of a chav. He will then notice that others act the same way and band with them. They each will then look to each other for guidence as they have no father figure as piont of reference. Thus similar tastes similar music even similar style of clothes all emerge as well as pet hates and so on. The neglect to there education means there already geneticly low iq is hindered significantly. And thus spawning the chav we know and love.

grow your own! its easy over 3 million in britain already are! so what are you waiting for?

.akco.

Dance like you mean it.

REwind back to 49. or rather just the fiftys if you didnt want the rhyme. (yeah bitches thrown some AKCO MCin on your ass!)
no but seriously look back to the fiftys where men were hard working straight and dressed so sharply the just looking at them gave you a paper cut. Look back at the women too. The women that stayed at home and kept the fort and dressed like little presents in an age where sex was still taboo. And because of the controversial nature of the rumpy pumpy acts of hot lovin fiftys men and women has to work themself into a rabid sexual frenzy some other way. So the fuckers danced. Someone once said that dance was the active vertical metaphour for a horizontal act. And they were very right.

back to 08 now in the world we are living in. Men dress like women or like men or like dicks. women do what the fuck they what when the want to. Sex is pratically expected of anyone and everyone, as metrosexuality and hetroflexibility is flying around the country like jizz at a bukkake party. We dont dance. Dancing is lost.
But fear not i know for why the reason! The reason is this we have no discos. Seriously that is it. everyone is tryin to find the music the "describes them as a person" so everyone is bumming there own genre thus they are too rigid to have a dance at discos. Also The dick heads of the last generation put us lot in discos when we were kids so now we have this constant association with discos as a kiddies thing.

If what i am saying seems like apparent bullshit then go find a local disco for your age group find a member of the opposite sex and fucking dance with them. Its one of the most romantic and sexual acts since that guy tryed to stick a rose up his japs eye and got it caught.

pease
.:AKCO:.

understanding misunderstood.

For reason undescribed perplexing and simply disturbing here is a new blog about something. Unable to explain my reasoning behind such a mand venture i will simply keep it brief so that despite its mind numbing sexy writing it will be entertaining.

Also to keep this blog for bieng a chore i have seperated it into readable chunks for your enjoyment. i suppos ehowever i cant continue like this simpley explaining my current actions. i am not even speaking in present because my brain is several seconds ahead of my typing and as soon as it has been thought it is in the past making anything writtenr in the " present" redundent.

unable to shake the feeling i am compleatly alone in my way of thought and feeling i constantly try to apply experiance to replicate and understand the emotions of others. This isnt the meaning behind this blog by the way it is in fact still unknown. i guess that information is just a short addition.

i might as well take this opertunity to thank you for reading this far as many millions who have myspace havnt heard of me and afew hundered who are my friends are unlikley to even read this. So thank you and i promise i will deliver some interesting slightly more meaningful blogs as soon as i can pieced together some logic to get me through this blog.

Exams. everyone is talking results and uni but i failed in recieving my results as i was holidaying at the time of revalation.

I can not continue as i am bored of this whole concept but i shall publish non the less.

Uplift to counter previous post.

Foreward.
I sit here now with a task bigger then can be possably set. This is a foreward to what lies ahead. i highly recomend seeing my first blog overdue noise before you read this for full effect.

Warning!!: This blog is amazingly epic and may cause feeling of hope and good will amoung men pre christmas. Please dont worry away at things said here just try to understand and enjoy.

Things seem pretty hopeless dont they? as previously mentioned we are going no where we are living piontless lives filled with things that couldnt possable make us happy. In the world there is murder curruption and other foul things. People are lying and cheating there own grannys out of there dentures. Things seem hopelessly rottern but are they?

Things seem bad. We seem so small. But we are not small. no matter who you are where you live what you do you are something important. You have changed the life of everyone you ment for better or worse. You have changed the land you live on and every idea you have had has been your own.

Just think. You mean something really special to someone. something you have said or done has helped somebody so dramaticly that they wouldnt be the person they are if you didnt exist. That £8 you gave to charity once wouldnt have gotten given and lives would have been lost.

In schools we are told we are unique and that we are doing something special but we never feel like we are. We feel like no matter what we do there is evil and hate to counter it and we never see our effect. Anyone who has known someone to pass awya recently will see just how much an impact someone can have on so many lives. People try to describe humans as part of a machine or chain but i see us as something more then that. To put it in zombie terms everyone one of us are part of somethign bigger like a pile of zombies ot get over the security fence.

Sometimes our roles arnt certain sometimes our paths are clouded with doubt and fear and yes we are all prone to anger and depression but its all part of the beauty of life. You cant see white chalk on a white board and black charcole on a black board. You must have your downs for your ups to mean anything.

everyone needs to be upset. Everyday something upsets us perhaps just a tiny bit and we bottle it whitch is ok. but now and then we need to get upset and truely let all these feelings out and just lose hope. Its easy to let go off something that people like the media are trying to snatch then fight for it now and again.

But let me tell you something hope it worth fighting for. Hope is what will get you through the coldest winter, hope is what will tell you to try again after something goes wrong. Hope is what tells you you can love again.

To conclude fear and hate have a strong hold on the world but they are nothing compared to unity, hope and the sheer willpower oif the human spirit.

(listern to this for added effect.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN9EC3Gy6Nk&feature=related

melodrama and misery.

FOREWARD.

This blog is long overdue. I have been meaning to write about loads of different things over the last couple of weeks but have been preocupied in someway or another so now am just gunna join em up k?

WARNING
This blog is epic those with the reading capeablilitys of a blind mole rate leave now. Those with the attention span of a ADHD child or sali hufton leave now. Those with a cunning eye for spelling mistakes must leave now or facce the start of a new hobbie.

MELODRAMA in life.
Havnt you heard? We broke up things just wernt how i had hoped my entire life and now when ever i look into his eyes all see is the toment he put my through and the trust he broke. *takes bow* thank you thank you. That wa sa delightful example of "real life" melodrama the same melodram that people use everyday. Lets take a gander further into my example (based on real remarks)
Yes i guessed u took his name off your msn. your entire life? your 15 years old what life? if you have "lived" at all then your doing somethign wrong and need to slow the fuck down. Same rules apply if you had hopes for a true love this early on. Look inot his eyes? torment? you mean that time when he acidently left you hangin or when he was jokin around and called u fat? trust? it takes years to earn true trust. You wer goin out weeks perhaps? he cheated on you you say? WOW then someone bet on the wrong horse didnt they? funny really mabey if you spent less time blabing to yuor friends that he is mr wonder guy and spent more time actualy getting to know him and understand who he is he might not have to get he sex kicks form somewhere else.

There one example ripped. True the example was fictional but they are real situations like this everywhere but mostly worksop. Worksopians LOOOOVE the melodrama. EVERYTHING is life death and true love. Boyfriends aare potentioal husbands rather then somebody to be close to. When your single you NEED to find a certain type of boy or NEED to find yourself. Everything is a play somehting far greater form the truth. Every little action is amplifyed. a Boyfriend hanigng up is a sign he doesnt want to speak to her anymore. We yeah if he hung up mid sentence but when its at the end mabey your just fucking retarded?

Ok i think u get my drift if not drink some of whatever you n00bs drink these days and read it again until it makes sense. Now to explain why the fuck these sad 12-17 year olds do this shit all the time.
My theory is this, They lead piontles mundane rushed lives.
Since preschol each one has been told they are special that they will be rich they will be famous they can have asports car, a big tv, a boat or a house on cribs. They are told that if they tryed hard enough they could do anything. This sadly isnt true for any of them. If everyone could why doesnt everyone? because they cant instead they start a fucking mundane job for mundane pay live in a shitty mundane house with a shitty mundane family and rott away your average worthless mundane lives.
This explains both the need ot dramatize there lives with melodrama and the use of melodrama due to expectancy of something great or potentioaly great. Media doesnt help either.

PART 2

I have something for youto think about if you have even got this far.
Its about your future. Whats the piont? ok so you get a job and earn loads of money. great. wheres that gunna go? on stuff right? whats the stuff gunna do? make u happy u say? until new stuff right? so you need more money? so you need to work more?
ok ok so you have a family wiht kids, So what? you procreated, you did what everyone and anythign on earth can do and passe don your genres. Can you fele satisfyed that all you have to show for your entire life is a hybrid of you your wife and the enviroment he/she was brought up in?
ok so you found god? and...? despite what you keep telling yourself for comfot it didnt fill that gap did it? you still feel that bitter emptynes. And you doubt, even a little you still doubt.

I think we are all unhappy and rightfuly so. Why are we unhappy because everything is piontless and hollow and ultimatly meaningless due to the inevitablility of death.
So how can we be happy?

wtf do i look like buddha?

.Akco.